The mysterious G-spot, or Graefenberg Spot, responsible for female orgasm has been searched for since the 80th. Many sexologists still call in question the existence of this source of female sexual satisfaction, others claim, that stimulating this zone triggers powerful vaginal orgasms. By means of vaginal ultrasound scientists from the University of L’Aquila in Italy have discovered, that some women have a thicker muscular wall in a particular zone of the vagina, and exactly these women achieve especially strong orgasms.
At the same time the opponents claim, that the thickening is not the reason, but the consequence of orgasm, as during it the vaginal muscles contract. In general, the truth has not been found yet and the existence of the G-spot has remained controversial, but scientists are going to conduct another, large-scale study on this pleasant theme. Hopefully, they will find the exact location of the G-spot. Anyway, the most important thing is that your lover finds it and knows, what to do with it.
Sexual activity of humans is one of the basic instincts. This is why problems with sexual potency, which are also defined as erectile dysfunction, can lead to anxiety, lowered self-esteem and in some cases even to suicide. Although it affects every adult man at least once during his lifetime, every one considers it as the beginning of the end. Many women don’t know what to do when their sexual partner fails to achieve an erection. This article is about the reasons why a man can develop problems with erection, how you can help him and what you should do in this situation.
Two Kinds of Sexual Impotence
Sexual impotence can be caused by psychological problems and physiological ones. About 10 percent of all cases of sexual impotence are due to purely psychological reasons. The rest are very likely to suffer from physiological dysfunctions. There are many reasons why men can be unable to achieve an erection.
Causes of Male Sexual Impotence
There are different factors influencing male sexual drive. Let’s see, what could lower male libido. This is, of course, not a full list, but look, how many things could affect male potency.
The therapeutic use of oestrogens,
Side effects of drugs,
Problems with the blood supply to the penis,
What to Do, if He Fails to Achieve Erection
Sex requires complete relaxation and concentration. Don’t perform it in haste or tension. Take your time. Set a romantic mood. If you or your sexual partner is stressed, it may occur, that you will get no satisfaction. Here is what you can or should do, if he has failed to achieve an orgasm or an erection.
Don’t panic. Don’t take offence. Don’t feel embarrassed and don’t blame yourself, his lack of erection is not because you don’t turn him on anymore!
Don’t let him panic. Support him instead – this is the most important thing he needs at this moment.
Let him know, you don’t consider him sexually impotent, he needs no Viagra, he is your most wanted man, a real man.
Tell him you love him, kiss him, hug him.
Massage him gently.
Give him some oral action.
Or just say with a gentle smile and hugging him: “Oh, that’s no problem. Let’s try again!”
You may also ask him to satisfy you with his fingers or orally. It should turn him on. This may in the end lead to sex again.
Never remind him of his failure, even if you are quarreling. Never laugh at it. Never tell anybody.
If your sexual partner is facing a serious problem with erectile dysfunction, he would need to speak to a doctor to determine the cause of the erectile problem. Don’t put it off.
Everybody knows, that young people are in no hurry those days to start a family, they place career first and family nearly the last; and that is yet the best alternative. Sometimes people find their life partners only once they are in their thirties, or even later. Psychologists believe, that such late marriages have bad influence on the health of the partners and their future children as well.
Specialists from Penn-State University (USA), in particular, are convinced, that when a family is started early (age 18 to 25), it has much better influence on the psychological health of the married couple than a late marriage does. Such conclusion was drawn from the experiment they held. 8 thousand young families participated in the study. By watching those couples, the scientists realized that early marriages help improve parent-child relationships, children in such families develop earlier and have higher intellect. In addition, medics believe, that children born in such families have correctly formed norms of behaviour, and they are also more protected from depression.
The couple benefits from early marriage as well – the living together helps them become more independent and get better sense of responsibility. Work and studies, surely, help as well. Moreover, newlyweds, in contrast to their peers, seem to be in better shape and withstand emotional stress better.
Can differences in biorhythms of men and women disturb harmony of a love? As scientists believe, indeed they can. Those scientists offer advices on how to find that mutual passion. Psychologists affirm that “owl-lark” couples do argue a lot, it is harder for them to find a compromise, they go out in public less often, and feel disconnected from each other far more often. The issue gets intensified by the fact that the partners obviously have sex less often as well. Surely, couples that have the same biorhythms also may encounter different timings in passion. After all, the female and male sexual sensitivity clocks are very much different. We have to do something about it!
Biorhythms in Our Lives
There is a vast variety of biorhythms. Some have a period of less then a fraction of a second, others last for a couple of years. For each of us an activity rush period is followed by a relaxation, apathy, when we are running out of energy. This is explained by the fact that blood hormone levels fluctuate every hour, day, couple of days, seasons. It is hard to go against this metronome, even for the toughest workaholic and the most passionate lover.
Biorhythms and Sex Hormones
Scientists believe that our DNA has a specific gene section responsible for synthesis of a so-called key protein component. It is a peculiar biological spring, which acts as an initiator for the internal biorhythms clock. Punctual hypothalamus, following its calendar, gives orders to hypophysis, which is obeyed by most of the sex hormones. That’s how it comes around that on some days production of, let’s say, testosterone is rather low, and on other days you are up for feats in bed.
Time When Both Women and Men Want Sex: Study
Do the glorious moments of love exist at all, when passion seizes both partners with equal power? Those questions were studied by Peter Platz, a specialist in the field of issues in sexuality from Hamburg. He graphed the “desire curves” and attempted to find the overlap points between the male and female apogee. It turned out that there are very few of those, yet the moments when hearts beat in a complete unison do exist.
Difference in Male and Female Libido
During the first hours upon awakening, especially after having some erotic dreams, the stronger gender is very much in the mood for an intercourse. At 7 am the male sex hormones activity exceeds the norm by about 20 percent, by 9 am – by as much as 50 percent. The arousal starts to decline by 10 am and then raises once again by 11 am. But here comes the difference, since the arousal in females is not yet awaken by this time of the day. Desire hormones join the female bloodstream only closer to noon.
Best Time for Sex for Both Women and Men
At 1 pm, the male is still aroused, by 4 pm his eagerness reaches its peak point. Attention! Female is drawn towards a sensitive encounter around this time as well. But two hours later, both male and female libido will need rest. To get it excited once again, as the German expert suggests, sport comes very handy.
Best Time for Conflicts about Sex
It may seem that in the evening, the body should entirely give itself in to passion, but that is not the case! This is the time of the most vexing discords. Female hormones still keep it quiet (even if she did not work before that), but the male is eagerly up for intimacy. To awaken the sensitivity of his partner he will perhaps have to use an entire arsenal of his charms, be soft and attentive.
When It Is too Late for Sex
Finally, by 10 pm, at last, she is overwhelmed by the passion of love, but it is too late, since the male organism , although still wanting “it”, is already fighting with the power of sleep. That is why, often enough, after a few minutes of passionate embraces, the male falls fast asleep under the influence of the endorphins, which arrived to the brain during the orgasm. This greatly upsets the girlfriend, who is open for a heart-to-heart talk at this time.
Listen to Your Partner’s and Your Body
Surely, we can not treat biorhythms as a rigid forecast. Humans are not mechanisms and deviations from the scheme proposed by Platz do exist. Nevertheless, the German doctor’s advices can be very helpful for most men and women. The main point is that we should not be easily hurt by a refusal in intimacy. It does not necessarily mean that the feelings are gone, it can very much be the case that the partner’s libido has taken a time-out for a while. Be patient and attentive towards your beloved one; try to find out when he or she has the greatest desire for an intercourse. Listen to your own feelings as well: when you are in the mood for some love games as well.
Imagine the following situation: it is not your first time having sex, and your partner hints yet once again that it would be nice to try something… And then comes a suggestion for something new, something you always viewed as impossible, unpleasant and out of bounds. Should you reject it right away or take the risk and go for it?
Every person has different likings about sex, some parts of it are liked more, others less. It is very rare to find a person to be completely uninhibited and ready to try everything new in bed. This feature of character depends on past experiences, upbringings, physique, and finally each of us has some personal taboo subjects. For some people such subject may be anal sex, for some – sadism and masochism, some may not enjoy doing a blow job. The question is how you should act, when the male insists particularly on the thing that you have issues with?
Are There Rules in Sex?
The main point is to understand that you are not obligated to do what the partner desires. It is not your fault that your body is built the way it is. Sex does not have strict global rules, thus if you do not enjoy something in sex there is no reason to assume that there is something wrong with you.
Oral Sex: Pleasure for Both?
Let’s look at an example. These days we often hear about the mutual pleasures received from oral sex. The idea is discussed so much that a woman, who does not enjoy it, may think that there is something wrong with her own sexuality. In reality, studies show that not many women receive real pleasure from performing a blow job. Most women agree on doing it just so that she can bring pleasure to her beloved one, can show him her love and affection; there are also females, who reject this act no matter what situation they are in. It is normal to have different reactions. Thus, if your partner offers to experiment with something you completely can not accept, there is no reason to force yourself and do it. It is best to resolve such situation by saying:” I do not like it”, furthermore, there is no need to feel guilty after saying no. After all, for a dialogue to be equal in rights not only does one have to possess ability to listen to the partner, but to express one’s own feelings and desires as well.
You Can Always Try Something New in Sex
On the other hand, any kind of relationship, including the intimate one, is always in a state of development. Every time a couple is having sex, they learn something new about each other, develop mutual trust. It may very much be that one day something, that seems completely impossible today, will look like an interesting thing to try. You can always try and then, if you do not enjoy it after all, simply reject the act in the future. However, it may also be the case that something, that seems frightening at first, will turn out to be exciting, interesting, and bring new pleasures to both partners. Besides, it is a well known concept, that a beaten path kills passion. Why not try and introduce something new to your sexual relationshipsfrom time to time?
A recent study has found, that the best sex should last 7 to 13 minutes. Researchers have interviewed a large number of men and women about the ideal duration of sexual intercourse. The following data were obtained during the study published at “Journal of Sexual Medicine”. It occurs, that sex lasting less than 3 minutes is considered as too short, while more than 13 minutes of sex are regarded to as too long. 7 to 13 minutes were rated as most “desirable” length of time of sex.
So, maybe, a great sex all night long is only a myth? And it means, that one could fully satisfy their sexual partner with only three minutes of sex? After having read these data one automatically poses the following question: were the respondents, who took part at the research, able to estimate the length of time of sex correctly? And in general, who is able to watch the time, when having sex?
Anyway, each couple so to say elaborates their own, “effective” duration of sex, as well as sexual positions they like most and that bring maximum satisfaction. I hope, you and your sexual partner have already found them and enjoy a great sex.